Article word count 561
What does sex mean to your children, and how to deal with this matter?
In this age, it is obviously very difficult to control a beginning to be teenager. Some of us are taking sex seriously to orient our children about every aspect of it. Some parents afraid even of having an access to talk their children about this until the axe hits the head.
As a journalist, I approached some parents about this matter a while back ago. I think it was about 28 years ago. Some of those parents who were my friends found out that their children read sex magazines and do this entire tiny thing with themselves.
They were boys and girls and they had never spoken or consulted their parents about sex in an area where sex matters are still considered forbidden.
I encouraged them to talk it with their children in a very different way.
How?
It is obvious that this is still to be considered a very sensitive area of concerns. Therefore, we should take care when we deal with it. A very positive orientation for parents, towards discussing sexual matters with children, is to begin
with taking notice of biological changes, and to develop a very sophisticated dialogue about this matter with their children.
When children hear this dialogue, they will accept it. Their parents will break at the same time the psychological barriers. Parents do not need problem management skills to do this. However, they need of course a great deal of courage and logic to answer the curious questions their children may ask.
Then during this warm dialogue, which children will definitely love to hear, children will begin to love their parents more for giving them chances to express themselves without feeling shy.
It will be good idea for parents to talk about how they felt while they were at that age. At this stage, parents should be very careful and cleaver to avoid speaking about their bad sexual experiences. However, they can mention if they had self-sex or if they had misused that. They can even give examples of bad results in difficult cases such as misusing sex or being addicted to it.
Psychologically this dialogue will help children relax and expire their inner sexual energy. The dialogue will open new areas of concerns to avoid what could be avoidable. That dialogue makes sex a normal process and exposes it, so sex will lose that magical undiscovered world which children dream about it.
Sex to children is a hidden world. That dialogue will help them invent this world and take care of it without misusing it.
While managing this dialogue with children, parents should speak
also about their children's educational future. There is a balance to measure at this stage. If some parents have girls and they want them to get through their education to high levels, then arranging comparisons and balances between learning and having sex could help them develop and mentor a sense of priority.
The cultural atmosphere inside the family plays also a positive role in leading children to understand their parents' behaviours and deal with that matter. If everything in the family is good, then chances for complexes to appear between children are rare.
Children are like peacocks. They deal the way they see their parents deal. They always take their parents as their spiritual guiders.
About the author:
Khalid Osman is a teacher; journalist activist and webmaster.
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